Dublin was FANTASTIC. I even got a T-shirt that says 'and then I thought........ feck it, I am in Ireland!' IT'S EPIC. I had a really great time but I'm off to Devon at like 4 o' clock tomorrow morning so I haven't got the time or energy to talk much about it yet. I will though. I FUCKING LOVE IRELAND! I miss the Irish accents already :'( And there were so many gorgeous guys it was unbelieveable. Me and my friend Sophie are convinced we saw more fit guys in the past few days in Dublin than we ever have in Yorkshire! lmao



I FUCKING LOVE THE IRISH.

GUESS WHERE I'M GOING TOMORROW! DUUUUBBBBBLLLLIIIINNNN!!!!! YAY! That's where they make Glenns :D *adores icon*

I'm so excited :D But really knackered >___< And I know I'm not gunna get a long sleep in my own bed for the next two weeks cos the day after I get back from Irishland I'm off down to Devon with my mamaaa. Summer holidays are such a drag ;-)

Did my last day of work experience today and I miss Ben so much! I got in a bit early today so I wouldn't miss the doctors going on round, and it worked, cos when I got there Christine said I was just in time to go on rounds with them. Ben was there, but not really with me. I was with this older consultant, who turned out to know my (sort of) friend Holly's dad. He asked me what school I went to and he was like 'ooh, I go to the football with her dad'. He was nice. Old. Chubby. Not attractive, but nice. Anyway, once we'd finished with the patients on M Ward, we were all milling about around the reception bit, where Ben had sat down, and Christine kinda put me under Ben's wing. When I'd originally seen him today, I thought he looked a little moody, but boy was I wrong. He is the nicest, sweetest, loveliest guy ever.

I walked beside him as we went with the other docs to different wards, and he kept talking and talking and it was fantastic. When I was on rounds with him on tuesday, he explained a few things to me like diabetes insulin charts, but today he didn't stop explaining and I loved it. He's so lovely, I know I said that but he is. We talked about everything from personal statements for uni, to the fact that predicted grades matter more than actual grades, to him using the example of a road going through a quiet town to explain how a surgical bypass works.

After rounds were over, the aforementioned consultant said there was a meeting I could sit in on later, or I could just follow Ben for the rest of the day. Guess which I picked? While he was telling me that, Ben was writing something on a piece of paper, and when the consultant finished talking to me, he gave me said piece of paper with his e-mail address and mobile number. He wasn't being dodgy or anything, as he told me (mores the pity), but it was in case in the future I had any questions or anything I may need to ask someone, and if I knew someone I could talk to, I could ring and say how I did some work experience with him and ask the question. How thoughtful and lovely was that?

After that we walked back up to M Ward and we both sat in the reception area, him on the computer, and I thought that would be it. Instead, he carried on chatting to me, about personal statements, saying similar stuff to earlier, how you have to expand on everything you say and exaggerate stuff to make it sound better. Then he went down this list of patients, explaining to me what was wrong with each of them and exactly what that meant. I learned so much from him.

A few years ago, in 2003, my Grandma died after having her leg amputated due to a blood clot. The doctors were worried that the blood clot could get to her brain and cause serious damage, and amputating her leg was the safest option. Unforunately, she was so depressed afterwards that she stopped eating and, eventually, drinking, and died not long afterwards. I was only 12 at the time, and so wasn't really aware of the facts other than that she had a blood clot and they needed to amputate her leg. But being on the vasular ward on work experience made me wonder more aobut it, and so I asked my mum the other day, hoping to make it clearer in my head. She just said that the leg was amputated so the blood clot didn't rush to her brain, but it was hardly a medical explanation.

I saw my oppurtunity to find out more about what happened to my Grandma today with Ben when he was explaining one of the patient's problems. He was doing one of many adorably crappy little drawings to help him explain stuff to me, and it included a blood clot. So I told him about my Grandma and was able to ask all the stuff my mum couldn't answer, like how blood clots happened, what caused them, why an amputation was required. 

He made things a lot clearer for me. He said that blood clots can occur because someone has blood which clots a lot naturally, or because a person didn't move around very much, and the blood becomes 'lazy' as he put it. That was the case for my Grandma. She was hardly moving around at all. He said that the reason it would have been amputated would have been because, like the doctors had told my parents, they were afraid it could become dislodged by a build up of blood trying to get through an artery and block off an artery needed by the brain. In some cases, clots can be removed in surgery by using a tool to get them out, but in some cases, depending on where abouts in the body the clot is, this procedure can make it worse as bits of the clot can break off and you end up causing what you're trying to prevent. Therefore an amputation can be the best option.

I kept thinking he was going to stop talking and get on with his work, but he didn't. He really seemed to enjoy explaining things to me. I thought he'd get bored but he didn't. He loved teaching me things. Unfortunately, after we'd gone through all the patients he said he was going home because today was supposed to be his day off. I thanked him and tried my best not to look gutted. I'm pretty sure I succeeded. Then I had to go hand in my apron thingy (my tabbard) to the office to get my £10 deposit back and go to lunch. I asked Christine what time I should tell my parents to pick me up and she said there wasn't anything happening in the afternoon, so I set off for lunch, saying I'd be back to get my stuff. I thought Ben had gone (and he had) and so I was really churned up and for the first time I couldn't face a proper lunch. I just had some crisps and chocolate, and even felt nauseous eating a malteaser! I was missing him already.

One of the doctors I'd gone round with on tuesday saw me as she was leaving the restaurant, Julia, and said she was off to a meeting I could sit in on if I wasn't busy. By then I'd already rung my parents to pick me up so I told her that and she was nice and wished me luck for the future, recommending Newcastle university, as that's where she went. After that I went back up to get my stuff from Christine, who also wished me luck, saying she hoped I was able to follow the medicine career and I left.

I've really enjoyed my work experience, all apart from yesterady, and especially today. Today the time justflew by cos I was with Ben and I genuinely found all the stuff he was telling me interesting. I'm definitely sure I want to become a doctor now. Ben reassured me when he said that he got an A and two Bs at A Level, and it's predicted grades that med schools care about rather than what you actually get. I really miss him.

I feel stupid for missing him but I really, really like him and now I'll never see him again. Not properly anyway. Since I've got home I've been really teary, and my mum (who I made up with last night) says that she spent most of her A Level years crying and that it's just the hormones. Fucking hormones. Making me think I love him. I hate my hormones! Though I can't deny that I don't particularly mind crying, I think it's healthy every so often.

And, so I can remember when I look back on this, the reasons I like Ben so much:
~ He was sweet
~ He was nice
~ He was funny
~ He was adorable
~ He was smart but not overly boffiny smart
~ He didn't look down on me
~ He has a lovely voice and southern accent
(I need to not use the past tense - he's still alive!)
~ He's a doctor
~ He's cute, but not so attractive that he'd have millions of girlfriends n stuff
~ He explained things to me in an understandable and adorable way (obsession with arteries being roads heehee)
~ He fucking gave me his mobile number and e-mail address in case I have any questions I need to ask him!
~ He actually realised I was there
~ I know I mentioned his voice, but it was lovely. He spoke quite quietly but I heard every word
~ He was young at heart, and just young
~ He had rabbit teeth in an arobale way (not like buck teeth, just slightly rabbitish when he smiled)
~ He has an adorbale laugh and smile
~ He laughs easily, and at the same stuff as me (like when the consultant said that once he wouldn't give a football fan patient anasthetic until he said the team the consultant supported were better than the team the patient supoorted - lol)
~ He eats Chewits
~ When we went to the hospital shop on tuesday with Julia, he got one of those 5p strawberry strip things and just bought that = adorable
~ He talked to me about the patients' problems before he elft rather than ditching me for the computer
~ He said 'South London' in a cockney accent when the consultant told me he (the consultant, that is) came from South London
~ HE'S BEN <3 <3 <3

I MISS HIM SO MUCH!!!!!!!

 I've finished updating my lj for the enitre week I had without it - yay! And now it's picshure tiem :D I have prom and friendses, and last pics of me in my school uniform, and even the haircut + dye I got today :D

 My birthday cake was EPIC.


I went to the cinema with my mum (sounds lame but it was actually fun) lol I love Katherine Heigl!



 

So my parents gave me waaaaaay too many eggs :


That's going to put my diet forward a day or too lol.

And it's snowed!


Have a great day everyone :)

So I got back from Do It 4 Real last night. It wasn't as good as last year but it still rocked. I didn't get attached to my roommates like I did last time, which is good in a way coz I cried so much when I came home last year. I'm proud to say that I haven't shed a single tear since I got home. Woop. We had the best counsellor ever though, last year's were all awesome and I got on with them all, but this year there were only three that I liked, Ash, Dave (aka Mary) and Jess. They were all only university age and we could all talk to Ash like she was a normal person instead of a counsellor. (A counsellor's like a teacher btw, they're supposed to look after us.) She was Austrailian and can't have been more than about nineteen. But she was so ace that she was even gunna help us order a pizza on the last night (with the help of the phitt instructor James, who turned out to be 17. Phwoar!), even though she could've lost her visa and stuff if it was discovered that she'd helped us. We didn't order it in the end though (much to the disbelief of Ash's bessie mate Jess lol). Dave and Ash were our group's counsellors and when Ash had to come and tell us to go to bed, she (and Jess) would just come in and talk for like half an hour, it was great. She was so lenient with us as well, coz it was like prison in that we were hardly allowed to do anything (we weren't even allowed a cup of tea!) and the camp was supposed to be for 14-17 year olds, but they'd changed it to 10-17 year olds coz not enough people signed up. The girls in my room were cool even if they weren't as good as the ones I had last year (I shouldn't really be comparing but who cares). I met another Stacey (it really feels weird using her name, I avoided it if I could lol) and her mate Nikki, and then there was Amanda, and us four kinda hung out together. Then there were Lucy and Victoria, who'd kind of spend their time in the Games room of an evening, Me, Stacey, Nikki and Amanda didn't coz it was boring and cramped. So it was a very good week anyway, despite the long wait at Swindon (Billie Piper squee!) during the bus journey. I learnt to body board, which I got addicted to, I went gorge scrambling, which I already loved from last year (plus we got to see James in a wet suit lol) and I managed to kayak properly too! I lurve watersports, and I'm nagigng my mum to take me down to Cornwall sometime to go back to Widemouth Bay (that's where we went body boarding) coz apparently she can body board as well.


I also finished Harry Potter! I finished it at 13.28 on Sunday and I never really caught up with the sleep I missed when I got it. Major shocks and squees there but I can't be arsed to talk about important bits til I've read it again. I missed Jas loads coz I've just been dying to talk about the book with her, she's the only one of my friends who understands the obsession. I'm gunna ring her later for a squee or ten hehe
But anyway, here's some funkay stuff from that magical night (or early morning, whichever you prefer)

So I'm off to watch more Supernatural coz the season 1 boxset I order arrived while I was away. I've just finished watching the first four episodes (which I'd already seen at Sophie's) so the rest (well most of the rest) will be new to me :D

Omg Peacejam is supercalifragalisticexpialidocious!! (or however you spell it lol) Despite two 5am starts over the weekend (actually, to be fair, today I had a 5.30am start) I am soooooooooooooooooo sooooooooooooooo sooooooooooooooo glad I went to the PeaceJam conference at Bradford Uni this weekend. I really can't put into words how amazing it was, or how fit Benny (one of the mentors) was, I mean seriously, phwoar! His personality was the best, he was so nice and waaay too lively for that time in the morning! lol I got to hug him twice and he even remembered my name, how sweet is that?! aww hehehe I lurve PeaceJam, can't wait for the next conference. Oh yeah and I forgot the small matter of metting Jody Williams! (again lol) I first met her in Denver back in October:

Me and my school group with Jody --> <-- I'm 2nd from the right

I heard her speak for the first time then, along with a loada other Peace Laureates (like Desmond Tutu - I tell you, he is SUCH a DUDE!!!! and the Dalai Lama) but our group thought Jody was a tad agressive and we didn't like her. But after hearing her speak yesterday me and Sophie (the blonde one on Jody's right) both completely changed our opinions of her, we think she's ace now! hehe Adam (this really camp but straight guy from our school) asked her for a hug after we made our presentation, and then Sophie asked her too so I followed suite lol Me: Ooh, can I have a hug as well? Jody: Yeah, hugs are good. How ace is she?!! hehehehehe I'm so high on PeaceJam right now lol I love it so much!!! Jody inspired me so much and the workshops we did during the days were so interseting and informative (losts of words beginning with 'i' lol), I just filled out these leaflets to help the campaign against tourism in Burma and TOTAL oil, it's bad people, very bad, and wrong lol it's just weird to think that filling out my address, just giving my support to these campaigns took up literally two minutes of my time and it's helping the people in Burma who have to flee into the jungle from their homes because the military come and destory these innocent people's villages and rape girls as young as five years old. It's just sick. And then there's Aung San Suu Chi, a Nobel Peace Prize winner who's been under house arrest for years on end just because her country doesn't want her to be elected as leader, even though she got over 80% of the people's votes, she couldn't attend the PeaceJam conference in Denver because of that, and she isn't even allowed to talk to her daughter over the phone. It's just so wrong. I'm such a Peace person at the moment! That's kinda what PeaceJam does to you though, it inspires you so much and it's fantastic.

http://www.peacejam.org <-- just click and have a look, there's so much you can do to help these people and it takes up hardly any of your time. Be a good person and take a look people! And spread the word! PEACE!!!!!

Oh yeh and that's why I haven't posted any fanfic this week, soz guys but I simply haven't had the time to finish the next chapters or anything, so hopefully I'll post them this week :-)

Peace Out!!!